Rethinking Judgment Hygiene

One of the biggest blind spots I see with leaders—whether they’re running organizations or households—is judgment.

Judgment is our conscious or unconscious ability to pull meaning from patterns. Sometimes it’s helpful, like a shortcut that saves time. But sometimes it’s like taking a shortcut down a dirt road—you end up stuck in the mud.

At work, poor judgment shows up as snap decisions, unchecked assumptions, or “going with your gut” without pausing to consider people and context. At home, it can look like jumping to conclusions with your spouse, misreading your teenager’s silence, or assuming you know what’s best without listening. Either way, the result is the same.

Judgment spawns insecurity, conflict, and disconnection.

That’s why I talk about judgment hygiene. Just like washing your hands prevents illness, tending to your judgment habits keeps your relationships (and leadership) healthy. Here's how to scrub up well:

1. Turn up the curiosity

Before deciding or reacting, ask: “What else is important here?” or “What am I not seeing or hearing?” Curiosity slows judgment and opens space for better understanding.

2. Challenge your biases

We all have them. Reflection is the key. Take time to notice patterns in how you judge people, situations, or ideas. One bad meeting—or one bad day with a family member—doesn’t define all the ones to come.

3. Listen longer

At work, too many leaders listen just long enough to respond. At home, we often do the same. Try listening until the other person feels understood, not just until you’ve thought of your reply.

4. Catch your “shoulds”

“They should know better.”“I should have done more.”Should-language is often judgment in disguise. Swap it for curiosity or compassion instead.

BIG NOTE: judgment is less about “them” and more about you. When we practice good judgment hygiene, we make fewer assumptions, assign less blame, and create more space for trust and connection—whether with colleagues or with the people we love most.

Good judgment hygiene makes for better work, better homes, and better lives.

If you’d like to explore how to practice this kind of leadership at work or at home, let’s connect. At CaPeesh, we grow minds and hearts so you can lead with courage and clarity in every space that matters.