Empathy: The Skill Leaders Can't Skip

For different reasons, people are carrying a lot right now. And if you’re a leader who catches yourself saying,“Yeah, I hear you, but I don’t do that empathy thing”—can we talk?

Here's what I know. Empathy builds trust, and trust is the cornerstone of any sustainable relationship. Without it, all you’re left with are transactions—and transactions alone demand more and more effort just to maintain their original value. They can’t hold water.

Empathy Isn’t Optional or Awkward Forever

Empathy is a skill—and like any skill, it can be learned. Yes, even if it feels awkward at first.

Empathy isn’t about solving someone’s problem or relating to their exact story. It’s about being willing to tap into your own emotion and not avoiding the discomfort. Taking the stoic route may feel easier in the moment, but it doesn't offer presence.

Four Myths About Empathy and Why to Drop Them

Some folks have shared that empathy just isn't something they can access. Here are some mythes that may be getting in the way.

Myth 1: I haven’t had that experience, so I can’t relate.

False. If you’ve known pain, loss, or disappointment, you have what it takes to be empathic.

Myth 2: I have to share my own story.

Nope. It’s not about you. When someone is suffering, they don’t need your highlight reel or “me too” moment—they need to feel seen and/or heard.

Myth 3: I have to fix it.

Wrong again. Empathy isn’t heroics. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is just be present and listen without inserting your unsolicited solution.

Myth 4: I have to find a silver lining.

Please don’t. A look of acknowledgment, a head nod, or a hug (if appropriate and with permission) can say “I care” far louder than forced positivity.

The Dare to Lead Connection

In my Dare to Lead work, empathy shows up as one of the most misunderstood yet essential courage skills. Without it, trust crumbles. With it, leaders unlock deeper connection, stronger teams, and real belonging.

This moment in history is calling us to step up. Friends, family, colleagues—everyone needs us to practice empathy, even when it feels uncomfortable. So the next time someone shares their pain, try this:

• Don’t rush past the discomfort.

• Don’t make it about you.

• Simply listen.

• Then ask: “What support would feel most helpful right now?”—and mean it.

That’s real leadership.🌺

P.s. Emotional literacy is a great starting place to undertand empathy.