Feeling the Squeeze?

"I know what I should do...I'm just not doing it."

Finishing up spring break this week AND noticing a few things I don’t always have time to say out loud.

There’s a lot in the background right now—globally, economically, and yes, a ton of crappy weather. Even when it’s not directly impacting us, it changes how people show up at work.

There’s a layer in organizations carrying more than we acknowledge. Mid-level leaders. They sit between competing priorities, personalities, power dynamics, expectations and right now, they’re feeling the squeeze.

In coaching, I hear a version of this almost weekly: “I know what I should do… I’m just not doing it.”

It's not because they don’t care or don’t know what to do. But in the moment when tension rises, when someone doesn't do their part, and a decision has risk; the cost feels too high. So they do a quick work-around to avoid what might be an uncomfortable conversation.

Over time it adds up with some form of guilt, regret or frustration. It's like carrying around a Lululemon backpack full of things you didn’t address. Cute—but who wants to carry that weight all day?

While it may feel easier to just disappear in the hedges, the longer one waits, the heavier that backpack becomes.

Listen close. Avoiding hard conversations is not a knowledge gap. It’s muscle failure.

You aren't alone. Many leaders haven’t had the chance to practice what it takes to stay present and act when things get unsteady. This is why coaching can be a powerful accelerator—it creates space to build that muscle with intention.

The next time tension builds, you know what to do. Instead of avoiding it, slow things down and practice initiating with one of these conversation starters. And don't forget to pause for their response.

• “I think something’s off here. Can we get curious together?”

• “I’m noticing I’m holding back. Can I share something that may come out a little messy?"

• “I feel there’s a gap between what we said and what’s happening. Can we pause together to look at this?”

No over-explaining...just practice naming what your noticing or observing.

As a mid-level leader, you don't need more content. The best place to build capacity for healthy conflict is in the moments of discomfort. Simple, repeatable, in-real-time practice that's where the shift happens.

Second best? Circle back. Reflect, take ownership and make it right. That's a win!

Coaches Challenge: Think about one conversation you've been avoiding. Give yourself some grace and initiate your practice.